Topic: comedy
How can you tell what town a comic is from? It’s easy, at least as long as they’re from New York, LA, or DC/Baltimore. I know each of these scenes pretty well. LA comics are outgoing and polished; New York comics are moody and dark. DC/Baltimore comics have our own brand of homemade charm. I’ve developed a quiz to clarify things – which type of comic are you?
The first thing I do when I get on stage is…
a) Read an exhaustive list of my stage credits and commercial appearances
b) Light a cigarette
c) Take the mic out of the stand and place the stand to the side (that’s what the guy at Comedy College said to always do first)
On stage I stand…
a) At the very front; better to work the room and engage the audience
b) Slouched against the brick wall; I’m just relaxing and talkin’, man
c) Wherever I took the mic out of the stand; I am too petrified to move
The hoodie I wear on stage is…
a) A $400 Donna Karan pre-stressed hoodie
b) Delightfully disheveled
c) Drenched in flop sweat in under a minute
My first joke is…
a) A story that highlights my unique ethnic background (take note, casting agents!)
b) A joke about rednecks
c) Taken word-for-word from Brian Regan’s 1997 Comedy Central Presents
On stage I read…
a) My stage credits again…in case anyone missed them
b) An e-mail exchange between myself and my cable company
c) My set list, which I taped to the bottom of my beer glass
You may have seen me as…
a) A dead body on CSI
b) A dead body on Law & Order
c) A dead body on the Wire
I take a notebook on stage in order to…
d) Read the jokes my agent wrote for me
e) Project my affected, pseudo-artist persona
f) Remember my set…how to people remember five whole minutes?!?!?
My teeth are…
a) An unnatural, blinding white
b) Still clenched an anger at the Bush administration
c) Chattering nervously
My dream is to…
a) Be an actor
b) Be Bill Hicks, including the dying young part (which would be badass)
c) Feature at Del Rio Restaurant in Leesburg
