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DC United
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Jeff Maurer's Soccer Blog
Tuesday, 27 December 2005
I Will Not Be "That Guy"
  For Christmas, my wife got me a DC United jersey (which I asked for) and, recognizing that my current soccer shorts have seen better days, added on some official DC United shorts as well.  As it happens, I played for a team in high school that wore black socks.  So, theoretically, I could wear an entire DC United uniform.  Here is my vow to you, the rest of the world: I WILL NEVER, EVER DO THAT.  I will not become that guy that wears the entire fucking uniform as if I'm tricking everyone into thinking that I'm on the team.  I recognize that my competitive soccer days ended long ago, and now I play only recreationally.  The shorts and socks will never appear in tandem with the jersey, which is mostly for when I am watching DC United games.  If anyone sees me violating this promise, or if I put my own name and number on the back of the jersey, I give you permission to shoot me in the head.  Seriously, do it; I deserve it.  Consider this blog post legally binding.  Print it out and bring it to court with you.

Posted by jeffmaurer1980 at 2:12 PM EST
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